At my request, a guy from work brought in his copy of NKOTB’s hit album ‘Hangin’ Tough’, of which I was rather fond of in 1988 [I was 10].
The album opens with the catchy ‘You Got It (The Right Stuff)’ which features such high brow lyrics as “Oh, oh, oh oh oh oh, the right stuff, Girl, yeah baby yeah”. Listening to this song flooded my mind with a mental tsunami of memories involving badly mimicked dance moves in blue light discos and stonewashed jeans.
From there, it’s all downhill, with track after track of sugar coma inducing [albeit amusing] vomit. Beginning with the mind numbingly saccharine ‘Please Don’t Go Girl ‘, where a pre-pre-pubescent Joey McIntyre sings about his love within.
The low point is ironically one of my old favourites, Hangin’ Tough. This song was played at my year 6 farewell dance, and motivated the entire year to get up on stage for an impromptu dance performance. Like trying to contemplate the concept of an infinite universe, it’s hard to fathom how terrible this song really is. If you got the best musicians on the planet today, and asked them to make the cheesiest pile of 80′s commercial shit possible, they wouldn’t come close to this steaming pile of synth.
Just take a gander at the first verse:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
[Rap:] Just get on the floor and do the New Kids’ dance.
Don’t worry ’bout nothing ’cause it won’t take long.
[Rap:] We’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, ’cause you gotta be
Hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough, hangin’ tough.
[Rap:] We’re rough.
In closing, I’d like to say that this is clearly the best album of all time. It has been playing at work on repeat all day and only a couple of people have thrown up.
Check out this interior sleeve photo!
My name is Aaron Booth and I am a huge nerd. I am currently stationed in Sydney, Australia.
OMG MY FAVOURITE ALBUM (when i was 12 yrs old)
Does anyone remember the song ‘Please dont go girl’? I used to play that over and over…
My favourite is Step by step …
“Step 1, we can have lots of fun, step 2 theres so much we can do, step 3 it’s just you an meeeee, step 4 I can give you more”
Quality lyrics.
My personal fave is from the track self titled – New Kids on the Block
Chillin’ on the corner, the first day we arrived
From the looks of the hoods, we didn’t think we’d survive
Second day we were there, we were walking down the street
With a rhyme in mind and a funky beat
I’m Dexter P. the wizard of word
I’m the greatest MC that you’ve ever heard
Now that you know we’re a gang and you know we don’t play
We’re The New Kids On The Block and we’re here to stay
Classic
Tone, A.A.Ron – Who (ye Gods!) let the two of you have penises? This worrying confession, which is normally restricted to drunken females in the privacy of their own homes not sober online males, makes me seriously doubt your crudentials to manhood. For the sake of your lovelives, please keep this type of reminiscing to the kind of drunken nights between men that will NEVER be spoken of again.
Seriously dudes. Oi Gevalt!